Recovering Maggie

Recovering Maggie, the last Maggie book, is now available …
When Max took away her engagement ring he did it to hurt her. She knows she deserved it—she carelessly allowed their fun to seep over the embankment of their responsibility to one another, and it was Max who suffered in the flood.
Max took her ring to send a message that she had broken their circle of trust, demeaned their value; but it was himself he really sought to punish. There was much he had done that was wrong as well, and his Maggie had begun to suspect it.

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Now all they had is scattered and as both of them try to find one another again in the jagged wasteland their destruction wrought on their relationship, other parties circle their perimeter, seeking to find value in their ruin …

Oh, and this was the song that was getting to me while I plotted this. The idea that you had two friends and they were off together without you, in love, the love that was yours, and you’re separated by distance and some time and you want to call to tell them you’re okay with it, but you’re not and you hardly know how badly you’re not, and it’s not stated but there has to be a worry if they even think of you anymore or care whether you’re over it.  Fuck.

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  1. We're all on the spectrum somewhere. Typically those who are inward are easier to spot. You can be those things and also be fiercely loyal and have powerful emotions. If anything, the introverted nature of those people make those powerful emotions even more pronounced, burying it deep in their psyche, in their beliefs. Those two things aren't mutually exclusive. I'm like that, and I see myself in Max. Not his inability to feel resentment, but everything else. I've never been diagnosed with autism and people wouldn't suspect it either, but it's hard for me to not see the parallels in myself and what I read about it. I even have a thing for half-Asian girls. Honestly this story was a gift. I grew to hate Maggie, and I know you didn't want her to be hated, but thank you so much for writing this.

  2. JL – you're ever so spot on with your perspectives and I thank you for providing them because it really helps. I think Keely is a bit too perfect of a fit for Max, I think she enjoys this new fun thing, but I don't think it has a future. I don't know that though, all of them are really smart, sophisticated sexually.I do feel really sad for Max, it seems like he never really does enough to escape his feelings for Maggie and Maggie helps fascillitate that.

  3. I finished reading it before you did, so maybe it's just because I've had more time to let it stew, but I don't feel sad for Max. I believe Max will escape his feelings for Maggie, with time, because of Keely. The fact that she comforted him at the wedding, knowing he was pining over his loss for Maggie, demonstrates to me that Keely is capable of far more advanced empathy than Maggie or Cole ever could hope to. A normal woman like Maggie would feel ashamed or jealous because of something like that and those emotions would rise to the surface and run the show. Keely is exactly what Max needs: someone as empathetic as he is. I don't think she's too perfect, I think she's just perfect.You're right about Maggie, she's a facilitator of Max's sadness.

  4. Ha ha, I wish you didn't hate her! But I didn't hate Jess when I first wrote LHW, but when I re-read it a year later, I saw all the bad everyone else saw. In time, I might see all the bad in Maggie.Ultimately, I loved writing this and I`m so glad to write books that have an impact. I want to write the erotica that people will recall ten years later. Thank you for saying it was a gift.

  5. Glaucon, I think you make some stellar points, and I am her target audience (for these books that is). I will say this though, I think it's the second transgression that is usually the hottest. The first can be rationalized away, too drunk, he just looked really hot, I was weak and vulnerable, etc. It's when they do it again after all of the emotions flood through of the wrongness that really takes things up a notch for me.

  6. Keely was a relief to me too, a character who can help Max, and I guess she might be good as a transition for him, but then again they're getting married and talking about kids. So maybe they live happily ever after?

  7. I think maybe you're reading into the scenes between Max and Keely when the topic of Maggie is still on the table. We don't have much evidence of their interactions without that topic hanging in the air. Can be easily interpreted as Max not really caring about her, in a way, more fixated on his loss of Maggie, even while she presents herself to him and tells him to do whatever he wants. Those scenes definitely make Keely seem like more of a rebound than a long term partner, but the rest of the story about her demonstrates that she's so much more than that. I think that's mostly just the timing of that wedding scene. It's timed for the reader right after Maggie and Max reunite and the big question of who Maggie chooses is presented. The loss is very raw for us (the readers) at that point.

  8. No I'm not reading into those scenes, I'm reading the fact that Max thought that he viewed her as his savior from Maggie and Cole's clutches, not she was his soulmate, etc., that he was a hand-me down from the two of them (as in, he couldn't even find love himself without their help, Maggie and Cole), and that the last things we hear is themselves talking over their future just moments after Max again gets fellated by Maggie. I just don't know about them right now.

  9. I see. Well, she kind of is a hand-me down and Max probably wouldn't have found love on his own for as long as Maggie was willing to allow him to participate in her relationship with Cole. Max would never leave until Maggie let him go. Keely wasn't just perfect for Max, she also enabled Maggie to see the light and let Max go. She was his savior, she's like the perfect puzzle piece that makes the universe right again. It fits very nicely, I guess I don't see why that should make it a bad thing.

  10. The funadamental problem with all three is they didn’t recognize truths about themselves until they were too far down the road to do anything about it. Max realized he was losing Maggie to Cole, and Cole and Maggie realized they were falling for each other. At that point, it’s a mess no matter what they decide: someone is going to be hurt. You just have to do your best to complete repairs after the car crash.

  11. I honestly don’t hate any of the main female protagonists in these stories. They are all flawed and make bad decisions, but I don’t see any malice in any of them. The closest was Jess, because I thought she was purposely selfish in blowing up her family to chase her lost youth. Nia makes a ton of mistakes, but she’s doing her best to hold it together, and Maggie is just a kid who doesn’t know any better. I can’t fault her for discovering at 21 that the guy she thought she’d marry wasn’t exactly right for her.

  12. Are you reading into my 'HEA' comment above? I never called Keely a bad anything, just not evidence of a long term future wife for Max, I listed my exhibits as to why. She seems more like a transitional figure right now then a future wife. Maybe they'll be fine, and maybe, when I finally get to reading all the comments that have been said it'll make sense to me.

  13. I also wouldn’t classify Max on the spectrum. I envision he’s a lot like me, someone who’s shy and introverted around people he doesn’t know, but he comes out of his shell around people he’s comfortable with. Hence his very playful relationships with Cole, Maggie, Keely, even his brothers at times. He couldn’t give that speech at the wedding if he was autistic in any way.

  14. Speech-Max is the transformed Max. One who's been around the block and seen some shit, but is also supported by friends and family and gone off to have some life success. Content but still got that squeeze on his heart.

  15. Not sure what comment you're talking about. I think I'm reading too much into the word “transition”. For some reason that word made me think you were discrediting Keely, my bad. She is a transition though, and I think Max has a stronger chance of a happier future because of this transition, even if they don't stay together forever. Because Maggie definitely isn't his ticket to happiness. But I suspect Keely will be more than that.

  16. Sorry, I'm going to be terrible at adding to all of these amazing comments, I just remember those words distinctly like, “damn, that's nice” alluvion just feels warm to me.

  17. I wouldnt use rhe word hate for Maggie. I would say she was misguided. I hated what it did to max and hers relationship. Being monday morning and a quarterback id say max was the better choice long term if shes gotta live under the parents thumb until they retire or expire.Cole is just as good but for the whole working for martin thing.As far as max issues as an introvert hes always gonna be in the closet watching..He may have had an idea to take it further with pushing for the emotional connection. Than decided he didnt like it. Also maggie knew what hurt him but did things with cole anyway. Even tho she tried to include him.Im actually coming to appreciate this story more and more as we discuss it.The fact that maybe maggie would have been better off socially, romantically, emotionally and not as good as cole but not bad sexually.And still went with Cole because of his attractiveness and awareness of her inner sexual beast. Not that this outcome was unexpected after all we had a 40/40/10 percent chance (ok i was holding 10% out for prof Carmichael).But who thought it was a sure thing that it would be Max and Maggie at the alter before recovering maggie? I couldnt commit because maggie just didnt give me enough to know which way she leaned. Good job on that KT.This will keep us guessing in future stories.

  18. Interesting, is Max introverted? I saw him as very outspoken and engaging, but he doesn't have much of an ego so he'll keep his mouth shut and listen if he feels he has to.

  19. My opinion on Maggie will change with time, I think. I don't think I'll like her very much as a person, but it's easy to forgive people for human mistakes. I don't like selfishness, especially intentional selfishness (@JL23), and Maggie's was not intentional. But the wreckage it left behind is still so menacing to me and my cave man brain isn't capable of processing everything that quickly..

  20. I don't hate Maggie, even though I think she was wrong to string out a relationship that tied emotions and feelings of love and attachment with sex, in that way I agree with WA. I don't hate her or even dislike her for what she did though. I just feel really sad about the situation and wish that they were wiser and maybe tried to hook him up with someone else like any other friends would do, but honestly it could just be the lack of understanding their relationship.

  21. Ken seemed like he didn't know what Max was talking about when he brought up the tapes and their conversations at the lodge would suggest Carol. I don't think Ken would lie (indirectly) to I'm gonna say Carol.

  22. I forgot what the real discussion is, whether or not Carol saw them, not who deleted them. I still vote she didn't see them. WA after that moment your talking about Ken talks to Maggie and she asks him 'did you delete thank he says 'what do you think?' and she thanks him because he obviously did.

  23. Ken told her that so she wouldn’t worry…I believe he confessed to Max he never saw the tapes, or that when he went to destroy them they were already deleted. Max told Maggie that at the lodge. So Maggie is convinced her mother saw them.

  24. Right, so you think Carol saw them too? That's really fucking creepy, I've been hoping Carol never saw them and feel comforted by that, it gives me the heeby geebies otherwise.

  25. It's also suggested that she would use that knowledge to allow her to sculpt Maggie into the person she wanted her to be. Definitely not motherly.

  26. I didn't recognize Keely's character until they were talking about the freshman hottie that Cole hooked up with, then I was like “Oh yeah I remember that” total bro moment in tempting maggie.

  27. It’s up to interpretation I suppose…but Maggie is convinced her mother saw the tapes. Personally, I have no idea…it could just be Carol is intuitive enough to know she was involved with both of them.

  28. I felt like what Maggie was reacting to with her mom 'just knowing' was because her mom picked up on A) Max didn't come with her for the wedding stuff they talked about, not Max-like.B) No ring … like Carol said, why would Max take your ring too if it is just a postponed wedding.C) They literally just talked the other day and argued about having the wedding despite her going to Harvard, Maggie changes her mind using the very line of reason her mother did on the phone in UM. Seemed unlikely to me.That's what I'm choosing to believe to feel better about the situation, lalala.The alternative is a whole other level of depraved manipulation I prevented myself from thinking on, because, holy shit.

  29. I’m kind of with you on that TBTH…Carol is a really perceptive woman, there was enough evidence for her to figure things out without knowing the gory details. And Maggie is naturally quick to assume the absolute worst out of her mother.I’ve tried not to focus on the Carol stuff because I don’t personally think she manipulated Maggie to choose Cole. She was choosing Cole anyway. The unfortunate side effect to that down the road is that it increases her mother’s influence in her life, because Cole is much more interested in being part of the Beckers than Max. He won’t take Carol on for her, whereas Max would have. How she feels about down the road is a matter of discussion.

  30. …fundamentally too, I mean that story about almost freezing to death as a child because he didn't want to bother his father (I think that's who he was with) is heartbreaking!I mean it's Eugene Levy he's such a nice guy!

  31. John I really thought going in she was going to be with Max. But despite my misgivings about their future, I think she picked the right guy for her in the end. She doesn’t just pick Cole cause he rocks her world in bed (though it’s a big plus)…he’s also kind and considerate to her (when he’s not dominating her in bed). They have fun together and she knows him well. It’s just the one thing I don’t think he can give her has the potential to be a big problem down the road.

  32. Exactly. Anyone remember he was on a snowmobile that time with his father? Then he was showing off with Maggie and Cole on the arctic cat at the lodge. There was some meaning there ….

  33. Maybe its just me but when my 23 yo daughter lied to me i knew every time and it pissed her off now if she feels the need to not tell the truth i let it slide a parent knows so did Maxs parents but after the older siblings they learned what i learned theres no need to himiliate your 20 something kid by outing their lie. So they just love there son and loved maggie as well just because …and there wasnt alot of cole in there either it was max and family for the bride side. Not the grooms.

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